Living Your Own Life

What’s stopping you from doing what you want to do?

In the last eight months, I’ve heard repeated comments and compliments of what an incredible journey I am experiencing. Absolutely, I am having a marvelous time exploring Vietnam and getting a taste of the culture here. But I also hear comments about how others envy my life and are jealous of the path I have chosen to explore. Comments like  ‘Wow Perry, I am so jealous of your life. I’ve always wanted to do something like this.’

I had a moment to reflect about this (… in the shower, naturally). And it prompted me to think about whether I am envious of anyone else’s life. Am I happy with where I am and what I’m doing? The abbreviated answer is a resounding yes. I couldn’t imagine anywhere else that I want to be – at least for now.

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The purpose of this post is to not convince you to sell all of your stuff and book a one way to a foreign country (although I support that decision), the point is to ask yourself: Are you living your own life?

Loaded question, many meanings, complicated and confusing; I know. To answer, self-reflection is required. It’s easy to get lost in the illusion of happiness and stuck in routine – coasting on the comforts of the past and riding on the coattails of previous successes. Day in. Day out. And ultimately day lost. Tara Branch says “The way you live your life today… is the way you live your life.” In other words, your life is not only the compilation of days you choose, it’s everyday.  If you spend today dreaming and lusting after someone else’s life, who’s life are you really living?

This isn’t a one and done kind of mentality; it’s constant. Constantly thinking about what you’re doing, if you’re happy, and where you want to be. Without a doubt, there are barriers to following these worthy desires. These are the few questions I had to ask myself when I wanted to make a change. Be forewarned, they can’t be simply answered with yes or no.

Do you have the means? AKA the dinero; can you afford this decision? Saving up for a big adventure sometimes isn’t always realistic. Set something up where you can make money as you are pursuing your passion (or get a daddy). While money isn’t everything, it plays a role in you eating. So make sure that you have the ability to eat.

Is this something you want or just like the idea of? Often I get caught up in the fantasy of the unknown. It’s exciting and it’s perfect. But reality has a stark difference in opinion. Don’t blindly make a decision and hope for the best. Do your due diligence and research. Be prepared… And hope for the best.

What’re leaving behind? Regardless of what you do, there is some cost. If you seek a new job, you have to let go of the last. If you want to move, you have leave behind people you love. If you want to get out of a relationship, don’t ask me for advice. There will always be an opportunity cost for any decision. It’s not only about what you leave behind; remember, you will gain something from your pursuit.

So I ask you again: what’s really stopping you? Don’t live vicariously, simply live.

Ready, set, go.

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Loneliness and Living Abroad

At some point in our lives, we will be alone: driving in the car, talking a walk, or living in a new country. It’s inevitable. But being alone and feeling loneliness are different. The feeling of loneliness can often accompany being alone, but being alone doesn’t always cause loneliness. And the feeling can happen anywhere: living alone, moving somewhere new, and even while surrounded by friends. I have come to realize that the feeling of loneliness is unique when living abroad.

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It seems redundant to point out that when living abroad, you are literally miles from family and close friends. But the point that is often missed is that the physical distance equates to a temporal distance as well. While I’m awake, all my friends and family are fast asleep. Meaning that when I miss my friends and call them, it’s often in the middle of the night (ngl, I forgot and it has happened a few times). On top of that, being abroad can be harder to make friends. There’s a cultural and language barrier on top of all of the typical friendship making barriers.

It’s a special combination: distance, time, and culture that make you feel truly alone in another part of the world.

But you know me, I’m a glass full kind of guy and wow what an incredible experience it is to feel these emotions. It challenges you to learn to be comfortable doing to do things on your own. It teaches you how to try new restaurants alone, go to movies alone, and have dates with yourself. It pushes me to overcome my fear of talking to strangers and making connections to people I otherwise would have never met. Lean into the discomfort as my friends would say. We may feel alone, we may feel loneliness, but we always have other people supporting us.

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I write this not to discourage others from going out, I say this to invite people discover these new experiences, despite doing them alone. (Also to express my feelings in a healthy way, rather than wallowing and sleeping all day). My advice? Let yourself feel the full range of you emotions but don’t allow yourself to wallow in despair. Find passions and achieve greatness (cheesy I know).

See ya soon,
Perry

Finding Motivation

“How do you spend your free time?”

Its a question as an English teacher I ask fairly often to my students. It struck me that when the students asked “and you?” I have been responding with superficial answers. I think it’s time for some self-reflection and to remind myself to find purpose in what I’m doing.

I recently spoke with a friend who is taking strides to live with purpose and reason, which really resonated with me. This isn’t meant to be some ultra-deep altruistic philosophic meaning of life. I simply mean to critically think about simple decisions made in everyday life. Is the extra 10 minutes of sleep really worth it? Should I really watch the next episode? What is something I could be doing with my time?

Living in Vietnam has taught me many things, one of which is the luxury of free time. Day in and day out, I walk by the same people working for hours from dawn to dusk, barely having time to catch their breath. Here I have the time to get a head start on things I really want to do. So I ask myself should I really be spending it propped on my bed wasting my day away?

To be frank, I have been really struggling with finding motivation for doing regular daily tasks. You know, the things you want to get done but have really low priority. So to get my butt into gear. Rather than wallowing in pity, I’m setting some small goals goals for myself to hopefully get a slight edge on life:
1. Wake up and get up at a regular time. Luckily, I have trained my body to wake up everyday at 6:30. The problem is that I struggle with getting out of bed. I will strive for getting out of bed at 7:30 and getting tasks done.
2. Eat regularly. I have a bad problem with not eating appropriately having 4 meals one day and only one the next.
3. Drink water. Time and time again, I have read articles and posts telling you how important water consumption is yet here I am dehydrated daily.

These are just a few things I plan on doing, but would love some feedback on how to find more motivation to do the things that need to get done.

Updates to come soon,
Perry